Falling Slowly
by Cerise Murmur
Summary: Matt is slowly falling for Mello and he doesn't know what to do about it. Stay and face certain heartbreak, or get out while he still can? Matt x Mello/ Mello x Matt, Rated T for murmurs. Song Fic to Falling Slowly by A Swell Season.


**Song-Falling Slowly by The Swell Season. It's a beautiful song, check it out?**

**Enjoy, reviews are sex. **

* * *

_I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that…_

I don't remember much from that time…but I do remember the thoughts that polluted my mind, the way I knew I was too young to be thinking them, the way I knew he was thinking the same thing. He was beautiful; not like the girls that always talked to me at lunch. The girls that giggled at the goggles that hung limp around my neck and the DS that was always cradled in my hands. They were children. But Mello…he was different. His beauty was so cold; so rare, so utterly intoxicating.

His eyes would find me in study hall. I would feel his blue orbs burning into the back of my neck, and I would look…He wouldn't bother to look away, or even pretend that he hadn't been looking, he would just smirk and take a small bite of chocolate, only breaking the eye contact when it became strained.

_Words fall through me, and always fool me, and I can't react…_

That one time in English…he had forgotten his book. The teacher scolded him, but he payed her no mind, he just looked at me with a hope in his eyes that was almost devious. I pushed the book towards him without thinking, wanting him to have whatever he wanted, whatever the cost.

"boy, we can _share_" he said. It was the first thing he'd ever said to me. I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I drank in his smooth voice.

I couldn't talk, so I just slid my chair closer to his. We hadn't been there for more than a minute when I felt his hand brush my leg; my breath stopped.

_And games that never amount, to more than they're worth, will play themselves out…_

I wasn't sure if he'd actually lost his book…or he just didn't bring it because he wanted to sit near me. It took three weeks of this for me to gather the nerve to talk to him…that's what he did to me.

"I'm Matt…" I said, a blush creeping into my cheeks as his hand stopped moving on my leg, obviously surprised I could talk.

"I know" he said, his head turning to me and blue eyes settling on mine. I felt a shiver pass through me.

"Oh…" I said, not sure whether to be flattered or upset.

"Mello" he said, tearing his eyes away from mine, his hand creeping a little further up my leg, I had absolutely no idea what to make of it.

Luckily, he did.

"What are you doing tonight?" his voice was a whispered rush, I almost had to ask him to repeat himself. Hedidn't give me time to answer.

"Meet me in my room. 405." His mouth barely moved, I almost thought I'd imagined the utterance.

_Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time…_

His lips were softer than anyone else's…his strong caresses sent shivers wildly down my spine. His slender fingers made miracles…but only for a time. Only until I started to see him; the real him, the boy I hated, and the you I loved.

_Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you'll make it now…_

Weeks and weeks would pass by with the consistency of water, silent and fast, there one second, completely gone the next. But I felt as if they hadn't happened at all, I felt like I was no closer to knowing the real him than the people he passed casually on the street…then the people would had never uttered a word to him, people who he had never spared a second thought.

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me…and I can't go back…_

He had captured me, and that's all there was to it. I knew nothing about him, but I felt like I was part of his current, like I was stuck there, helpless. His eyes would settle on mine and it took everything I had to figure out a second of a glance…and even when I thought I had it figured out, something would happen that would throw all of my theories out, casting them aside like they were childish.

_Moods that take me, and erase me…and I'm painted black…_

When he was angry, I would feel that anger too, drawing it into me…in my own way trying to protect him from harsh feelings and bitter emotions. When he was happy I could practically feel my own face lighting up as his did, the light he emitted grabbing me and pulling me into its warm rays. Any feeling that he possessed at any one moment was what I felt too. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I couldn't pretend that I didn't like it.

_But, you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself, it's time that you won…_

I struggled to grasp that he had done this to me in the short time that I had known him…but I also struggled with trying to figure out if this was all just a game to him…because it certainly wasn't to me. This was real, this deeply involved my heart and how it would survive through the next few months. This was something I hadn't felt before, and it was completely unwarranted.

_Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time…_

When I got to his room that first night, he had smiled, not a dry smile, but one filled with a joy that was genuine, a joy I had never seen grace his face. It was the first time I saw true beauty. He pulled me inside and pressed his lips to mine, taking my breath away with how unexpected it was. I was expecting to talk…to get to know him, not in my wildest dreams would I imagine his sweet lips pressed to mine, hungrily devouring them as I had wanted to do to his for weeks and weeks. This was it…nothing was established…nothing certain, we were just kissing, and his hands were on my hips, and mine on his shoulders. And that was all.

_Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you'll make it now…_

Every night would be the same…sometimes we would talk, but most of the time we were trapped in a liplock so frenzied I felt like if I didn't have this daily ritual my life would be meaningless, obsolete. I felt silly admitting it, even to myself, but at the same time I was scared at how true it actually was. I was in love with you, completely unconditionally in love with Mello. And I was scared, I was fucking scared out of my mind.

_Falling slowly, sing your melody…_

In class again, his hand on my knee, my eyes not leaving his face, his eyes not leaving the paper. What did that mean? I didn't know, it didn't matter, with every breath he took, with every beat of his heart I was falling deeper and deeper into him, losing myself…losing myself completely. Where will this lead? We'll see, but I had accepted when I fell in love with him that it would most certainly end in heartache. But the thing was, it just didn't matter.

_And I'll sing along…_


End file.
